I gave some thought to Dropout Dilettante's Prompt about not getting our energies mixed up in the hey-I-made-it-three-days-time-to-go-back-to-SSDD stuff that'll be floating around. This is proving helpful in a weird way. WARNING: possibly TMI Girl Stuff Ahead.
I had my annual well-woman visit today, and after talking with my Gyn, decided to give up on the Depo that's been making my life hell for the past year. I mean, two months with no horrifying (yes, my periods are justly described as horrifying) periods is great. A month of bleeding so much that I can't leave the house is not. So I did what the Good Doc suggested in the first place last year, and got a bunch of samples of a Pill geared towards women my age. I just gave up on the Depo. I quit.
I feel oddly liberated, though at the same time so frustrated by this ridiculous fertility thing that I can't think straight. I am 40, have not wanted children since I was 20 or so (and even then, when I'd think about being home with one all day, I'd shudder - a good indicator that I Should Not Breed, EVAR), and should not have to think about this. When the Good Doc told me that it's "not your uterus's fault" the Depo isn't working for me, I wanted to scream, "OH YES IT IS I'VE HAD THIS SINCE I WAS TEN AND ENOUGH IS ENOUGH".
But I refrained, despite reading Hunter S. Thompson while waiting for the Good Doc.
I was also rather taken aback by the news that I'll have to return to condoms for a month while the pills kick in, since his nurse, when she gave me some to stop the Depo bleeding in July, DIDN'T BOTHER TO MENTION THAT PILLS IN COMBINATION WITH DEPO COULD MAKE ME OVULATE.
Yeah. Let that sink in a minute. This woman didn't bother to tell a 40-year-old woman who's obviously avoiding pregnancy like the plague that this could get her knocked up. A NURSE. I need to have a chat about this with the Good Doc sometime soon, because I was so busy swallowing my own tongue with outrage that I couldn't manage it today.
And that was the other way I gave myself something nice, as DD suggested - I didn't do the necessary-and-effective-but-tiring thing of being the agent of a proper and deserved ass-reaming. You can thank me later, Incompetent Nurse. Because I went to the barn and tended my horse and then came home for a margarita instead of getting you in well-deserved trouble.
How does this have to do with anything magical, you ask? It doesn't, I suppose, except maybe as an example of knowing when to Relax, Don't Do It. Despite my Goal of tossing magic at situations, I know better than to try it here, because whether I like it or not, this is a natural process that needs to run its course with as little interference as possible - trying to blast my own womb, hate it though I do, cannot end up anywhere good. Call me a hypocrite if you will, since I belong to a fertility religion yet will take the Pill and Depo, but I'm not ready to make it stop through Any Means Necessary just yet.
The next gift I'm giving myself is Not Getting Shit Done for the rest of the day. Pbbbt, world.