Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Creepy Things.

Trothwy and Evn have heard all about the Scary Thing in one corner of the yard. It wasn't immediately evident until we'd been in the house a few weeks, then - WHAM. I was walking the dog at 5am or so, and suddenly got the feeling that Something was going to come out of that corner and eat us both if I didn't pick him up and high-tail it back inside.

I did no such thing, of course. I put a protective circle around us, waited for the dog to do business, and then went calmly inside. I thought whatever it was would see that A. trying to scare me wasn't fun and B. that we meant it no harm. I was wrong. The Scary persisted, though it's lessened somewhat.

Now, this is the Creepy part.

I advised the Scary Thing, after an annoying visit by Crazy Landlady last week, that I was certainly less likely to annoy it than she is, so it might consider helping me keep her off the premises as much as possible. I felt like the idea was being considered, but haven't heard a thing since.

Yesterday, I discovered that the devastation of my garden, which I had previously attributed to moles from below and deer from above, had taken a turn for the...well, creepy. Because Something knocked half of my tomatoes off the stems, and then bit them.

Big whoop, you say. Deer, you say. Ever heard of deer that leave one row of very human-looking teeth marks? Yep. One row. Like something that only has one row, either top or bottom, of about four to eight human-shaped teeth of the size you'd find on a fairly young child.


I am willing to accept any rational explanation for this. In fact, I'd prefer one. But dammnit, I am a country girl, I know what deer and bunny teeth look like, and this ain't it.

Suggestions, folks? I've sprinkled coyote piss granules and put up fencing, and am considering a nice "hex sign" on the fence. But what I'd really like to know is what, or Who, is in this damn yard.


  1. Does it feel like the land or a Thing?

  2. Deb, it feels very much like a Thing. A land-connected Thing that travels at certain times, as Trothwy suggested might be the case - this Thing only gives me and the Husband the wiggins between 5 and 5:30am - but a Thing nonetheless.

    And if it's biting my tomatoes, I'm outta here before Samhain, lol.

  3. Hmmmmmm. Do you want to make friends with the Thing or get it out?

  4. Perhaps an exceptionally bad goat from across the street? Goats don't have any top teeth, just bottom ones. See


    Not that I'm discounting the Thing side of things ...

  5. @ Deb - the Thing was here before me and will be here after I leave, so I've no interest in getting it out. I think a concerted effort at talking to/with it is in order.

    @ Trothwy - see, I knew you'd have a rational explanation! This would have to be a really little goat, though, and the ones across the street just look too big. I'd infinitely prefer Tiny Renegade Goat to Something With Weird Teeth.

  6. Here's hoping for the best, and carrying a big stick! LOL!

  7. Have you tried asking what would make you better neighbors?

    I guess if in doubt, you could always try leaving a sweet roll and milk out for the Thing and see if that helps.