On this date last month, Former First Husband revealed that he was no longer in love with me and no longer wanted to be married to me.
A month already. A month and a day ago, I had two husbands, and, despite storms in the relationship, I was happy. Now I'm learning to be happy again - or I'm remembering.
Yesterday, the now Husband and I ran out to get some necessary things at Lowe's. We needed one of the big, flat carts, and when it was emptied into Husband's little hatchback, I rode it like a skateboard to one of the cart corrals just to see if I could. While Husband threatened to drive off (all in good fun), I ignored him and kept skateboarding along, while thinking two things: 1. this parking lot lacks a certain something for this new sport I've created and 2. hey, I'm me again.
I'm getting there. Some days are better than others. I'm looking forward to Full Moon with the wonderful Seekers' Circle. I'm thinking my altar needs to go back up, that I need an offering bowl for the kitchen, that I need to formally introduce myself to the Land here (even if it's been incredibly welcoming with not much effort from me).
While I get back to being me, I need to get back to Them. I can hear Them while I sit here, outside, looking up at the big pines - yes, you're in pain. Yes, the life you knew and loved is gone. But We are here, We always will be, and We are waiting for you.
I will heed Their call; tonight, I will go out into the front meadow and raise my chalice to Them with a heart that is both heavy and filled with light.