I've been slackassing.
The diet/eating what I should be eating has been started and blown back out of the water repeatedly. I blame the holidays, numerous get-togethers, and my own annoying lack of discipline.
I haven't been out to the barn the three times a week I'd pledged at our family Yule sumbel.
Magic? Nope. Not a bit. Hell, I haven't even really been keeping up with the writing prompts - the one about glamour leaves me stymied anyway - I'm a barn girl who has to dig through all her jeans to find the one pair that isn't stained by various and sundry horsestuff.
So, of course, conversation with the Evil Voice has ensued.
ME: WTF is wrong with me? Why can't I get my ass out to the barn? The three times I've worked him since Yule, it's gone beautifully - hell, the summer off seems to have given him time to re-grasp certain concepts. I ought to be out there every day, singing a happy little song. Why can't I meditate every day? There's really nothing stopping me. And the diet? I mean, the not-fitting-in-half-my-clothes ought to be motivation.
EVIL VOICE: I don't know. But maybe it's harder than it needs to be because you aren't doing what you're supposed to be doing. Maybe you seriously need to get together with the Witches (aside from me: hi, Trothwy and Evn!) and talk about doing Crafting in the Craft once a week.
ME: (sighs) I know.
EVIL VOICE: Maybe you need to consider that giving your gods ten minutes after you've fed the cats every night is hardly a sacrifice or an unreachable goal.
ME: Dammnit, I know.
EVIL VOICE: So what's stopping you? Besides you, I mean.
EVIL VOICE: You still here? Because it seems like your ass should no longer be in this chair.
ME: (slouches off, muttering dire imprecations about the Evil Voice)
This goes up on the bathroom mirror today -
"Grab it like somebody's trying to take it away from you, which is true: time and age and death and your own limiting voices and all the many more important and less selfish things you have to do today. Fuck 'em."
- Marion Winik, "The Sick Jock Guide - Ten Steps to Late-Life Fitness"